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Part 5 
, now this is a perfect opportunity (in my opinion) to finish this series, I do have more planned so if you guys want me to keep going just tell me. Anyway I hope you all enjoyed it!
, now this is a perfect opportunity (in my opinion) to finish this series, I do have more planned so if you guys want me to keep going just tell me. Anyway I hope you all enjoyed it!Mature
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Well, here we are. Have some critique:
As you probely know by now, this serie is to short to be consider a story, not even a novel. What we have here is only the beginning of something and not the middle or ending. And even the beginning is done poorly to say it midly. You miss a lot of breaking points in this story. The characters, some backstories, details like who and what the characters likes and dislikes, small details like hear, synonyms, motive, and so on.
This story is far from perfect by any means. The interaction between characters seems forced, you miss details, descripsens and so on. There are a lot of things to improve. I as a reading horse, am used to read stories that have everything that is mention above.
But Internet is filled with new writers that are willing to grow. That's why I like writing critiques to new writers, to let them learn from their mistakes and improve themselves. Even if I'm setting a hard standard for every stories I come across. Also, every story is not perfect, there are always something to improve. I'm looking forward too see more from you once you have grown.
As you probely know by now, this serie is to short to be consider a story, not even a novel. What we have here is only the beginning of something and not the middle or ending. And even the beginning is done poorly to say it midly. You miss a lot of breaking points in this story. The characters, some backstories, details like who and what the characters likes and dislikes, small details like hear, synonyms, motive, and so on.
This story is far from perfect by any means. The interaction between characters seems forced, you miss details, descripsens and so on. There are a lot of things to improve. I as a reading horse, am used to read stories that have everything that is mention above.
But Internet is filled with new writers that are willing to grow. That's why I like writing critiques to new writers, to let them learn from their mistakes and improve themselves. Even if I'm setting a hard standard for every stories I come across. Also, every story is not perfect, there are always something to improve. I'm looking forward too see more from you once you have grown.